Becoming a mother for the first time is a journey filled with anticipation, joy, and an undeniable sense of wonder. However, it naturally comes with fears and uncertainties along the way. It can be an exciting transition but a daunting journey as we navigate uncharted territory. In this post, I want to list out my fears and hope to one day make a follow up on how I was able to overcome them during this transformative chapter in my life.
Fear of the Unknown
The fear of the unknown seems to be a common sentiment with most people approaching parenthood. I’ve done my best to gain knowledge on pregnancy, childbirth, and newborn care. I’ve read books, watched videos, and have taken in the advice of women close to me who have shared the experience. While understanding the process helps alleviate some anxiety, without personal experience the fear dwells in your mind. What’s to come next on this journey? How painful will childbirth be? Can I handle it? How do I leave a hospital trusted with this new being that’s now part of my life forever? All of these thoughts will continue to run through my mind until I am able to see them for myself.
Fear of Parenting Skills
It’s natural to wonder if you possess the necessary skills to be a good parent. You often have to remind yourself that parenting is a learning journey and no one has all the answers from the start. While I am beyond excited for this experience, I find myself thinking of all the ways I can screw up my child just by existing how I do now as an adult with no dependents. Will I mess them up by over ordering takeout because I’m too lazy to cook? Will they have long standing issues with neglect if I choose to watch a movie instead of playing dolls with them when they’re toddlers? Will I be patient with my children even though I’m not patient with myself and others in my life?
Fear of Changes in Identity & Lifestyle
Becoming a mother undoubtable brings significant changes to your sense of self and your lifestyle. It’s important to acknowledge fears and allow yourself time to adjust. While I know our life will never be the same as it is now once our child is born, the fear of losing my identity to motherhood is something that’s been front of mind. I have no doubt that I will love my baby unconditionally, but I have spent 31 years of my life as me, not me as a mother, if that makes sense. While I’m okay shelving parts of who I am for the betterment of my family in a time of transition, I don’t want to become “just a mom” or a woman who has lost her individuality and has no other interests outside of her family.
Fear of Making Mistakes
As stubborn as I am, I hope to be okay with making mistakes on my journey through motherhood. I hope to be able to acknowledge a mistake and apologize to my child so that they’re less critical of themselves when they do. I hope to approach every situation with the knowledge I’ve gained along the way, trust my instincts, and to seek guidance when needed but to also be okay with being human and not being perfect.
Fear of Balancing Work & Motherhood
As stubborn as I am, I hope to be okay with making mistakes on my journey through motherhood. I hope to be able to acknowledge a mistake and apologize to my child so that they’re less critical of themselves when they do. I hope to approach every situation with the knowledge I’ve gained along the way, trust my instincts, and to seek guidance when needed but to also be okay with being human and not being perfect.
Becoming a first-time mom is going to be an incredible journey. The fears I’ve shared are ones that have been echoed amongst most moms throughout all of modern day history. The steps to overcoming them start with acknowledging them and being mindful of where the anxiety is truly coming from. As I mentioned above, I hope to come back to this topic with practical solutions that worked for me. This chapter will be full of uncertainties and navigating uncharted territories, but we have to approach it with grace for ourselves and the confidence that we’ve been able to overcome everything life’s thrown at us thus far. The key is to remember you’re not alone, these fears are common, and we’ll be just fine!
